Happiness is so hard to put your finger on. What makes one happy? Is it setting and meeting goals? Or life going exactly as planned?
I have had this debate with myself at several different points in my life and have been a listening ear for several friends who seem to be going through these same experiences.
I will be happy as soon as I get married.
I'm not happy because I got married so young.
I will be happy as soon as I get a new job or change careers.
As soon as I start making more money- then I will be happy.
I'm not happy because I didn't take any time for myself before I started working.
I will be happy as soon as I get out of this city.
Once I finish school I will be happy.
As soon as we have kids- then we will be happy.
I want to believe that this is some sort of a quarter life crisis and each of us depending on which stage will meet our goals and be- happy! However, I know that meeting these goals may make us happy for a week or maybe a month, but we will ultimately make a new reason why we aren't. If you break it down, we have been doing this our wholes lives and will continue.
I will be happy as soon as its summer and I'm out of school... as soon as it's my birthday... when I start high school... turn 16.... get a boyfriend/girlfriend...start college..graduate.... start making my own money.....move up in this company.....get married.....have children.....as soon as my kids are potty trained....as soon as they start school....they graduate.....they get married.....I have grand kids.
We were programmed this way. Society teaches us to never settle and be content. Those that settle are lazy and those that constantly want more for themselves by creating new and bigger goals/obstacles are successful.
As soon as I stepped out of the box and looked in I realized that there isn't a destination that is going to make my life complete or create my happiness- And in the process of trying to get there- I am wishing my life away! I can continue to want and strive for more, but I am going to start enjoying the ride because this is it. This is my life and I am going to enjoy it!
So, I'm trying.....
To stay positive! To take myself less serious. To laugh more. To regret less. To truly know myself even as I constantly change. To stop planning so much and start living more (happily)!
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Amen. I know this is a struggle I keep having as well. I am currently in the mindset of "I will be happy as soon as I am back on my feet and out of here". Yes, of course I will be, but what will the next thing be? I am trying to turn myself into making these things more of an exciting goal and adventure than them being what will make me happy. Once I reach something I want to embrase it, enjoy it and add to it. Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteThe old cliche that "Happiness is the journey, not the destination" (or the popular Miley Cyrus remake) is philosophically true. "Happiness" can never be a goal. If you make happiness a goal, then when you achieve the goal you logically stop doing whatever you were doing to get there, and so you instantly cease being happy. If you never stop doing what you're doing, then happiness is not a goal but rather a process. Happiness, then, always comes as a by-product of something else. The effort must be to discern things you enjoy and then follow them relentlessly. You realize happiness in the process.
ReplyDeleteI think you would like Immortality by Milan Kundera.
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