Advice That Will Help Your Marriage Last

Check out these statistics: About 40% of kids are growing up with divorced parents, and a record-breaking 40% of babies born last year had unmarried parents. So if you’re married, how can you make it last? Try these tips from ABC News:

•Learn to communicate. Without proper communication, a marriage is doomed. So if something’s bothering you, don’t bottle it up. Instead, approach your spouse calmly and use the word “I” – as in “I don’t enjoy doing the dishes every night.” When you use the word “I,” it doesn’t sound like your blaming your spouse, and they’ll be more likely to listen. Remember: You need to listen to your spouse, too. If you don’t listen, you’re not communicating with your spouse – you’re lecturing them. So if you bring up the issue with the dishes – and your spouse wants to talk about how they do all of the cooking – you need to hear them out. Then, come up with a solution to your problems together. Research shows that people are more likely to follow through on a plan if they participate in creating it.
•Embrace change. Your lives are going to change, and problems will pop up along the way. Remember this: Marriage can actually help you get through the tough times. Researchers in England found that since couples tend to tackle problems together, it slashes stress levels because they’re not handling the issue by themselves. So accept the fact that you can’t control everything – and that your spouse will help you get through the tough times.
•Stay positive. How can you have a happy marriage if you only focus on your spouse’s negative qualities? So try this: Instead of thinking, “I love my spouse, but they’re messy and forgetful.” Change that to, “I love my spouse AND they’re messy and forgetful.” It’ll help you get your head around the idea that nobody’s perfect – and that you can love everything about your spouse, even the negative parts.