Bedding

I am taking the plunge and getting a new mattress and I think I am just going to go ahead and go King. Why not right? So now I need bedding.....
I have to a mainly white comforter because Mia and her shedding is out of control but I can do a ton of fun pillows and bed skirt. I want this bed lifted too so there will be plenty of the bedskirt fabric showing. I also think I may do a headboard out of fabric and I think I may attempt it myself. I took these pictures awhile back on my not so nice camera but I am thinking the grey family.

Yes, one of them is mine and

my weekends have definitely changed since Atlanta....

Aunt Sarah is the Coolest!

The Girls

Tribute to Kea, Jackie and Sarah who I spend 40 hours a week with.

John Tesh Day.... Enjoy!

Dogs are good for our mental and physical health, but they can also teach us a lot about life. Here are five important life lessons we can learn from dogs, courtesy of the man who knows them best, TV’s Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan:

•First life lesson: Live in the moment. Cesar says dogs don’t stress out about their past, or hold on to hurt feelings, they appreciate what’s happening right now. Humans tend to dwell on bad experiences which can lead to depression and anxiety. Cesar says focusing on the present will allow you to have a much richer and more satisfying life, right now.
•People, just like dogs, need three things in their lives: Exercise, affection and discipline. We all know the benefits of exercise and love, but a study from Stanford University found the people who are disciplined and delay gratification tend to have higher test scores, go to better colleges and have healthier relationships overall. Discipline isn’t about punishment; it’s about living by rules and structure.
•Third life lesson dogs can teach us: go with your gut. Dogs are instinctive and can sense what’s happening beneath the surface. Cesar says, we humans have lost this ability and depend too much on words. So start paying attention to non-verbal cues like body language and energy and you’ll get a lot more out of every conversation.
•Don’t hold grudges. According to Cesar there aren’t that many conflicts in a dog pack. Why? Because if there’s a disagreement, they deal with it and move on. He says we humans hold on to negative feelings, and stuff them down until we explode. Instead, confront any issues before they blow up, then get over it and move on.
•The final life lesson we can learn from dogs: Live with a purpose. Cesar says when dogs have nothing to do they develop behavioral issues and anxiety, but when you give a dog a way to contribute to the pack’s wellbeing, their issues clear up almost instantly. It’s no different with people. We’re all born with a need to stay occupied and contribute. So, if you’re feeling down ask yourself how you can do more for the people around you.

Tips to Help You Break Out of a Slump

Are you in a slump at work? Then think like a pro athlete! That’s the simple message from a team of sports psychologists we read about in the Wall Street Journal. Whether your job involves sitting at a desk, or playing in front of thousands of fans, everyone goes through slumps at work. As you’ve probably seen, long slumps can easily lead to a loss of confidence, and poor job performance! So how do pro athletes break out of slumps?

•The most common trick is: Positive visualization. For example: In 1991, former Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz was in the worst slump of his career. So he hired a sports psychologist, who made a videotape of some of Smolt’z best pitches. After Smoltz watched that video over and over, he had one of the best winning streaks of his career! He says it’s because he never made another pitch until he pulled up one of those positive images in his mind. Experts say you can do the same thing at work by keeping videos of your best sales presentations, or photos of your top clients, to remind yourself of past successes.
•Another trick: Step back and refocus. Golfer Jack Nicklaus says anytime he feels stressed about a bad golf shot, he takes a moment to pull up some grass, and scatter it in the wind, while he visualizes the next perfect golf shot. You could apply that same strategy at work by stepping away from your desk, and going for a 10 minute walk - just to clear your mind and refocus.
•The last tip for breaking out of a slump: Stop thinking about it. That advice comes from sports psychologist Dr. Tom Ferraro. He says when you’re in a slump, the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up about it. The sooner you move on to the next project, the sooner you’ll recapture the strengths that made you successful in the first place! As any pro athlete can tell you: No slump lasts forever.

Three Secrets of Motivated People

The beginning of a year is always about motivation. So, no matter what you hope to accomplish in the next 12 months, all you have to do is adopt these three secrets of motivated people that we found in Real Simple magazine.

•Secret #1: Anticipate speed bumps in your plan. Before even trying to achieve a goal, plan for potential pitfalls and either preempt them if you can, or come up with a strategy to deal with them if they arise. Peter Gollwitzer is a professor of psychology at New York University, and he says that people who plan for obstacles are more likely to stick with their goals than those who don’t. For example, maybe your goal is to go for a jog every morning. What if you wake up one day and it’s pouring rain? Have a plan like, “If the weather’s bad, I’ll spend 20 minutes walking up and down the stairs in the hallway, rather than skipping exercise altogether.” This’ll help you stick to your new routine.
•Another secret of motivated people: Go public with your goal. James Fowler is a political scientist who studies social networks at the University of California, San Diego. He says other people can help reinforce your behavior. After all, it’s harder to abandon a dream when you know that people are tracking your progress. Take 25-year-old Stephanie Samarripa from Dallas. She wanted to lose 20 pounds, so she created a blog and asked her friends to read it, and hold her accountable. She weighs herself each week and announces the results on her blog. Samarripa says the positive comments people leave help keep her going – and keep her in line.
•Finally: Challenge yourself, and change things up. It’s hard to remain enthusiastic when everything stays the same. That’s the word from Frank Busch, who’s coached three Olympic swimming teams. To keep his athletes motivated, he constantly changes and surprises them – adding a new exercise to their workout routine, or giving them a break from a scheduled practice so they can recharge. So, if your goal is to finish that novel you started, try writing in a different room, or using a notebook instead of your computer. The more you change things up, the more motivated you’ll be to stick with it.

Here's How to Get Motivated

Even the best information won’t do you any good if you aren’t inclined to use it. New research shows that a lot of the “carrot and stick” thinking about motivation is wrong. Here’s how to really get going on even the most unpleasant tasks. We found these tips on the self-improvement website LifeHack.org:

•Consider how what you’re doing benefits others. In one study, lawyers were asked to provide services to low-income families. Half were offered a low fee, and the other half were asked to volunteer their time. Guess what? The majority of lawyers who were offered a low fee said no, but nearly all of those asked to work for free agreed to help. The take home lesson here is that having a greater purpose fuels everything we do. So, if you want to quit smoking, focusing on setting a good example for your family and friends will stop you from lighting up in a weak moment. More so than the idea of rewarding yourself with a new outfit or golf clubs.
•Make it meaningful. Researchers at Thames River University in England studied the volunteers who kept an old-time railway running. They found that people happily completed unpleasant tasks - like picking up trash and cleaning public areas - when they saw it as benefitting their cause.
•Think about work as something you choose to do - not something you have to do. Neil Fiore is the author of The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play. He says that seeing a task as a means to an end is what causes procrastination - and limits your creativity. One study found that people who were offered a reward for doing a difficult task didn’t complete it as rapidly as those who were asked to do it just for fun.

Calm Your Nerves in 15 Seconds

You have to give a speech in 5 minutes, the boss just called and said he wants to see you in his office, now or you just heard your date pull up outside. Those are all stress inducing situations. But all you need is between 15 seconds and 5 minutes to calm your nerves. Here are some techniques we found in Woman’s World magazine to get you through:

•If you’ve only got 15 seconds to get your nerves under control, do this: Take three deep breaths. Take the first, and hold it for one second, then repeat. Simply doing that can lower your blood pressure between 10 and 20 points! It also brings oxygen to the brain which helps you feel more alert. Then stand up straight. Taking a moment to improve your posture relieves tension in the neck, shoulders, back and legs.
•If you’ve got one minute to get calm: Tighten up. Contract all your muscles, hold for five seconds, then release. That sends a signal to your brain to stop releasing stress chemicals. You’ll quickly feel calmer. Then, start humming a tune. It stimulates your body’s relaxation response by regulating your breathing, slowing your heart rate, and triggering calming chemicals.
•If you have 2 minutes before you have to face a stressful situation, do this: Pinch yourself – squeeze the webbing between your thumb and index finger for 30 seconds. It’s a calming acupuncture point. Then, think of one word and repeat it quietly to yourself. It’s a simple meditation technique. If you can’t think of a word, try “ham-sah” – it mimics the sound of breathing.
•If you have 5 minutes before a speech, date, or confrontation with the boss: Chew gum. It relaxes the muscles in the jaw and neck which is where most people hold their tension. Then, focus on what’s really important in your life. A UCLA study found that reflecting on the things you value most – like your family or your faith – before a high pressure event lowers your stress hormones and shuts down your body’s stress response, like shaking or sweaty hands.

Improve The Relationship With The Woman in Your Life

Attention, gentlemen. Want to improve your relationship? Here are four steps from psychologists that’ll instantly improve your relationship with the woman in your life.

•First: Listen to her.It’s the number one complaint women have about their partners. When women talk, they experience a hit of the feel-good hormone dopamine, but men don’t get that same high. Instead, men think when a woman is talking to him, it’s to relay information. However, women aren’t that cut and dried. Women talk to bond, vent and de-stress, but a man’s natural tendency is to “fix” the problem. That’s why most guys dread hearing the words: “We need to talk.” In a man’s mind, talking doesn’t fix things – actions do! So guys, take it down a notch and listen first, instead of jumping to a solution.
•Another relationship tip: Don’t use the word “help.” You might see her cleaning up after dinner and say “Do you need help?” She probably does but will most likely answer, “no.” Instead – just start helping. Or ask, “What can I do?” When you phrase it that way, women are more likely to come up with a specific way you can help.
•The final way to improve your relationship: Stop spending every night watching TV. Sitting in front of the boob tube blocks communication. Purdue University researchers found that people who chatted while the TV was on looked at their spouse 36% less often than when it was turned off. Even if the TV is on in the background, people are more distracted. However, couples who turned off the TV created more opportunities for conversation, were more focused on their partner, and had more satisfying relationships.

Some explanations of déjà vu.

Been there – done that? Maybe you haven’t, but sometimes it sure FEELS like you have.

It’s called déjà vu. And even though most people have experienced it, why it happens is still a mystery. But experts have come up with a whole slew of explanations. Here are a few, courtesy of Psychology Today.

First, some researchers think déjà vu occurs when two of the brains cognitive functions are out of sync. For example, our brain might recognize a familiar situation, but fail to remember why it’s familiar. That leads to the “I’ve been here before” feeling. But since we can’t remember the event, we think the experience is new - and chock it up to déjà vu.

Also, some experts think déjà vu is a result of not paying attention. Our brains can take in information more quickly that we can consciously register it. Then, when what’s happening around us finally registers, it feels familiar. Not because we’ve seen it before, but because we’ve already processed it on another level.

And one last déjà tidbit: It’s most common in people between the ages of 15 and 25 – when the brain is still developing.
So besides age – what makes a person more likely to experience déjà vu?

• If you have an active imagination and recall dreams easily.
• If you’re fatigued or stressed out.
• And if you have an above average education level.

These things all indicate a highly stimulated brain.

Common Phrases That Don't Mean What We Think They Mean

You may not mean what you say! If you’ve ever used a phrase only to find out that what you said wasn’t at all what you intended to say – welcome to the club. The English language has more words and special phrases than any other - so it’s easy to make a mistake. Here are four commonly used expressions that don’t mean what we think. Getting these straight could save you some confusion and embarrassment. We found these on AOL news.

•“I could care less.” Most people use this to mean they couldn’t care less about something. “I could care less”actually means that something’s important to you. So say, “I couldn’t care less.”
•“Let's table this.” Inthe United States, we use this phrase when we want to stop talking about an issue. In the rest of the English speaking world, it means just the opposite - as in, “Let’s put this on the table right now and discuss it.”
•“I did a three-sixty.” If you’re trying to say you reversed your opinion, then what you actually did was a one-eighty. If you turn 360 degrees, you change your direction and then come back to your original position – which means you’ve gone full circle.
•“Getting the lion's share.” This is understood to mean getting the biggest portion of something. However, the phrase originated in one of Aesop’s fables in which the lion took everything - not just the largest portion.


If you make a mistake, don’t worry about it. You can always use this tried and true gem: “Listen to what I mean, not what I say.”

Couples Are Throwing Parties to Reveal The Gender of Their Baby

What’s the latest trend in parenting? “Sex parties.” Don’t worry – it’s not racy at all. They’re parties couples throw to announce the gender of their baby. According to the Associated Press, more and more couples are reluctant to discover the gender of their baby – something incredibly personal and life-changing - in a sterile doctor’s office or from an ultrasound technician they just met. They’re coming up with creative, elaborate plans to discover or announce the news.

Like Greg and Sheryl Bluestein from Atlanta. They asked the ultrasound tech not to tell them the gender of the baby. Instead, while they looked away from the image, the technician printed out an ultrasound picture, wrote the baby’s gender on the picture, and tucked it in a sealed envelope. Then a good friend took the envelope to a local bakery with a request: Look at the picture, and put blue icing between the layers if it’s a boy, and pink icing if it’s a girl. The Bluesteins said they felt a bit odd knowing the baker knew the baby’s gender before they did, but they wanted to make sure the “big reveal” was special. That night, 50 friends partied until it was time to cut the cake, and when they saw the pink icing, they both shouted, “It’s a girl!” Everybody cheered, a few people cried, and they said it was perfect. Other couples already know the gender and reveal it and the baby’s name at the party. Or tie in the announcement with a baby shower.

Here are The Three Best Things You Can Do For Your Relationship

What are the 3 best things you can do for your relationship? Oprah’s “O” magazine asked the top 3 relationship experts for their best piece of marriage advice. And here they are:

•Number one comes from psychologist Harville Hendrix, author of “Getting the Love You Want”. He says – stop all the shame, blame and criticism! Instead, ask for what you want in a clear, specific and positive manner. This goes double for wives! Men need to feel competent. They react better when you tell them what you do like, which behaviors make you happy. So instead of grabbing the sponge and telling your husband he doesn’t know how to wash the dishes, instead, say ‘thank you for pitching in!’ When men get acknowledged for things, they’ll keep doing them.
•The second piece of marriage advice comes from Dr. Mira Kirshenbaum, author of “The Weekend Marriage”. She says, when your relationship starts to break down, you need triple A – apology, affection, and a promise of action. Say you’re sorry for what you’ve done to disappoint your partner. Immediately offer a hug, a kiss, a meaningful gesture of warmth. Then pledge to do something that matters to your partner. The whole thing will take 2 minutes, but in that time you’ve healed the past, built a bridge to the present, and created hope for the future.
•The third and final piece of relationship advice comes from Dr. Ruth Westheimer, author of “52 Lessons on Communicating Love”. Dr. Ruth says, all relationships grow stale as time goes by. The best thing you can do is to pump some fresh air into it. A long weekend away would be ideal, but even a few hours away from work, the kids, the cell phone, and life’s responsibilities helps. Reconnect with each other by remembering the things that made you fall in love in the first place. Do the things that you used to do – talk over dinner, walk with your arms around one another. When you get home, you’ll find ‘your relationship has acquired ruddy cheeks’ – those are Dr. Ruth’s words.

Here’s What Your Pet Can Teach You About Improving Your Relationship

Want to have a better relationship with your spouse? Treat them the way you treat your dog or cat! According to The New York Times, that includes greeting them with excitement, overlooking their flaws, and easily forgiving their bad behavior. Clinical psychologist Suzanne B. Phillips teaches at Long Island University. She says couples may disagree on most topics, but they usually go all gooey and warm when they talk about the family pet. Saying things like, “They’re undemanding and give me unconditional love” and, “I wish he would give me the same attention he gives the dog.” The reality is: Pets require a lot of time and patience. They chew things, throw up on rugs, have accidents in the house, and steal food from countertops, but we accept their flaws because we love them so much. So, here’s what your pet can teach you about improving your relationship:

•Greet them happily. Even on bad days, we greet our pets with a happy, animated hello, and a display of physical affection. Your spouse deserves nothing less.
•Don’t hold grudges. Even when our pets wreck the furniture, wake us up at 3 am, or leave puddles for us to step in with bare feet, we don’t stay mad at them for long. So, when your spouse leaves their socks on the floor, accidentally deletes everything in the TiVo, or eats the last cookie in the kitchen, cut them a little slack.
•Assume the best. You know your dog wasn’t trying to torture you by eating the mail. So ask yourself: Was your spouse really trying to torture you by putting your keys where you couldn’t find them?
•Finally: Accept your spouse for who they are. If your dog licks a visitor from head to toe, you pull him away, or laugh it off. You don’t view his behavior as something that’ll tarnish your image or cost you a friend. Even if your spouse makes inappropriate comments, eats with their mouth open, or puts a new dent in the car every week – they were probably that way when you fell in love with them. So, accept their flaws, and move on.

The Secrets of Happy Couples

Most couples focus on avoiding conflict, but happy couples know to maximize the positive – even if it means a little teasing every now and then. Want to be one of those couples? Here’s how, courtesy of Psychology Today magazine.

•Poke fun at each other. Dacher Keltner is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley. He says that playfulness is one of the first casualties of a busy life. When your days consist of nothing but working, paying bills, cleaning and sleeping, play can disappear from your relationship. You have to keep it alive, by joking around and even using silly nicknames. You may think a serious talk is the best way to handle a serious situation, but Keltner says that couples who tease each other in the heat of a conflict actually feel more connected when things are resolved.
•Notice what’s new about your partner. Ellen Langer is a psychologist at Harvard University. She says that most of us get so familiar with our partners that we stop noticing them. Just because you’ve stopped looking doesn’t mean they’ve stopped changing. So, make it a point to detect differences, and each time you do this, look for three things about your partner that have changed since the last time you looked. Langer calls this “mindful awareness.” She points to one study which found that when non-football fans watched a game while writing down things they noticed about the players and the stadium, they became more enthusiastic about the sport.
•Put it in writing. A study from the University of Texas found that when couples wrote about their relationship for 20 minutes a day, three days a week, they were more likely to be going strong three years later. They also sent more positive instant messages. So, the next time you think fondly about your partner, write it down. Even better - share what you wrote with them.

Men And Women Have Very Different Brain Chemistry

Ladies, you’re probably sick of hearing that men and women don’t think alike, but it’s true. According to Match.com, our brain chemistry is very different. Here are some examples:

First, guys don’t have as good a memory as women. That’s becauseour hippocampus is smaller than yours. That’s the part of the brain where initial memories are formed. So, if you’re on a first date and he can’t remember where you work, even though you told him all about it when you met, don’t take it personally.
Another way the male mind differs – we’re not so good at picking up on subtle cues. If you like him, say so. Men aren’t as skilled at reading emotions. Men have fewer neurons in areas of the temporal lobe – the area that process language, and areas of the limbic cortex that process emotions. So you may have to tell him how you’re feeling, like, “I’m hurt that you forgot I don’t like sushi.”
Don’t freak out when there’s a moment of silence. Men just aren’t as verbal as women. Men have less gray matter in areas of the brains that recognize language cues and process language. That’s why women are better able to come up with words appropriate to the situation than men. So, don’t expect him to chat like one of your girlfriends, and don’t assume he’s not interested in you if he occasionally stops talking.
Here’s where men have an advantage though. We’re more upbeat by nature and less likely to get depressed. That’s because men produce 52 percent more of the feel-good hormone serotonin than women.

Advice That Will Help Your Marriage Last

Check out these statistics: About 40% of kids are growing up with divorced parents, and a record-breaking 40% of babies born last year had unmarried parents. So if you’re married, how can you make it last? Try these tips from ABC News:

•Learn to communicate. Without proper communication, a marriage is doomed. So if something’s bothering you, don’t bottle it up. Instead, approach your spouse calmly and use the word “I” – as in “I don’t enjoy doing the dishes every night.” When you use the word “I,” it doesn’t sound like your blaming your spouse, and they’ll be more likely to listen. Remember: You need to listen to your spouse, too. If you don’t listen, you’re not communicating with your spouse – you’re lecturing them. So if you bring up the issue with the dishes – and your spouse wants to talk about how they do all of the cooking – you need to hear them out. Then, come up with a solution to your problems together. Research shows that people are more likely to follow through on a plan if they participate in creating it.
•Embrace change. Your lives are going to change, and problems will pop up along the way. Remember this: Marriage can actually help you get through the tough times. Researchers in England found that since couples tend to tackle problems together, it slashes stress levels because they’re not handling the issue by themselves. So accept the fact that you can’t control everything – and that your spouse will help you get through the tough times.
•Stay positive. How can you have a happy marriage if you only focus on your spouse’s negative qualities? So try this: Instead of thinking, “I love my spouse, but they’re messy and forgetful.” Change that to, “I love my spouse AND they’re messy and forgetful.” It’ll help you get your head around the idea that nobody’s perfect – and that you can love everything about your spouse, even the negative parts.

Pumpkin Patch

Peek a Boo Pug

October 12

Today, I have lived in Montgomery for 1 year- WOW! I feel like the older I get the faster time passes by.

Hi!

I know, it has been forever! I have been very busy, traveling a lot for work. I have taken plenty of pictures but haven't had much time to upload them.
Here are a few recent photos taken at Katherine's dad's house in Eufaula this past weekend.

Plenty more to follow!

The flowers are Spider Lillies (aka weeds) they only bloom around my birthday!