Madison's First Kiss

Mia wasn't sure about it.....

But decided why not
Don't worry we stopped this seconds after!

Christmas Pug

and ALL HER FRIENDS!

It really was a zoo in Eufaula this year.

Riley

Emily and Riley

No, my feet are not that big. Those were Bob's.

I think Mia is learning to pose.

Laura and the dog toy.

Matt & Riley

Mama and Colby

Slade

Joey

And of course Abby

Love is Patient. Love is Kind.


Until it takes your mom 5 minutes to find the correct button on the camera!


This is what she got.

I had to make up for it with a cheesy one!

Apparently....

I have a problem with locking myself in and out of places!

Day: Christmas Eve

Time: 11:00 am

After sitting in my office and counting down the minutes on the clock I was able to leave work an hour and a half earlier than anticipated. I was ecstatic!!!!! I ran home in the rain to grab my bags, gifts and Mia to head to Eufaula. I had them all waiting at the door for me... seriously I put Mia's bed by the door so she would be right there too.

Since it was pouring down rain I decided to try to get this all done in as few trips to the car as possible. Somehow I did this in 2 trips- Gosh I'm good.

So, I grabbed my keys and locked the gifts, my purse and Mia inside the car and ran back upstairs just to make sure I had everything. I set my keys down ran around the house, locked the door by the handle and pulled it shut.

Seriously!?! There was no way I just did that.... Oh but I did.

So, I have my dog locked in the car and no cell phone and of course no hide away key.

I start running to the most normal looking houses in the neighborhood knocking on doors in the pouring rain. - NO ONE was home it was Christmas Eve.

So, I start knocking on the not so normal looking doors...

and finally I get an answer

Neighbor "Who dat be?"

Sarah "Hi! It's your neighbor from across the street!" (sweetest voice I could make)

Then you hear all kinds of doors slamming and banging for about 30 seconds and finally the door opens a crack- just enough for some smoke (and it wasn't cigarette) to blow all in my face.

Neighbor "What chew need?"

Sarah "Can I please borrow your phone, I have locked myself out of my house?"

Neighbor "Holds on!"

She then comes out onto the porch and hands me the phone... and I call my step mom for help. So, while Marcia is trying to track down the landlord I decided I would try to break in.

Sarah "Do you have a credit card I can borrow to try to open the door with?"

Neighbor "I ain't got nos credit cards"

Sarah "Do you mind if I try your drivers license?"

Neighbor " Girl, I can't drives. My husbands gots ones but hes in the bafroom."

silence

Neighbor "Holds ons I gots an idear"

She then brings me a metal pointed nail file. So why not. I run back across the street and up to my door where I try to pick the lock through the tiny hole. After a few minutes of that, I decided I was going to knock the door down with my child bearing hips.... yeah, that didn't work either and I gave myself an enormous bruise.

I'm starting to freak out at this point since Mia has no windows rolled down and is still locked in the car. I limp back over to the neighbor's and she hands me what looks like a plastic master room key to a hotel or something. I guess she works there??? But it is the same material as a credit card so I limp back over to my house and try this.

And.... I broke it. OMG!

So, I decide I'm going to kick down the door.

That didn't work either. I hobble back across the street where I am greeted with....

"Yo's mama called calls hers back!"

Yes, thank goodness for Marcia and caller id. The landlord was on her way....

And I think she got there about 5 minutes after she was called. The joys of Montgomery. In Atlanta I would have had to call AAA to get my dog out and a cab to a friends.

I couldn't help but take pictures. Enjoy.

Mine is the door on the left with the Christmas Tree.

Luckily, I have two front doors, so I wasn't completely in the rain.

And these would be the black marks where I tried to kick in the door in heels.

And for those of you who were curious- here are pictures of the side yard.

It connects the grass in between the two houses. So, I jumped over that corner of fence that you can see below.

My Christmas Card!

Isn't she precious!!!!

This is Madison Campbell Vocino

My adorable niece!

Who I have a secret obsession with.

These pictures were taken 20 minutes after I bought the camera.

We started in this pink outfit, which she was wearing when I got there.

And once we realized they were actually turning out pretty cute we switched to the above blue one.

She loved the camera!

I can't wait to learn how to use the photo shop software so I can make these even better!

No Way!

I'm stuck at work. I'm the new kid and I can't take vacation yet. I feel like a caged animal. I get spring fever and Christmas fever worse than any little kid I know. So.... I decided I was going to try to figure out a way to get out of here. I don't look sick or have a cough so I can't use the flu and the stomach bug just sounds fake.

Epiphany- I can fake a seizure. They will surely let me go home then and it can't be that hard- right? "Drink your juice, Shelby!" (shout out to Costa, Amanda, Mary Brooks, Neil and Anne Miller)

So, I googled it. And low and behold there are actually instructions. No Way!

I just can't help but share. Don't worry- I would never really do this. Watch now I'm going to be the girl that cried wolf.

1. Pick your mark- You need to pick someone who will start screaming and cause a big scene. (Jeff, aka Harvard Boy, I have to say- you would be my mark)

2. Set the Stage- You need to make direct eye contact with the person. Nod your head, smile, let them know you are doing great. Then take a huge breath because you are going to need to hold your breath.

3.Initiate and full out seizure- Before a seizure hits there is a period of headache and hyperventilation- most people don't know this. But, the easiest thing to do is to shorten these into 2 second intervals. Clutch your chest and roll your eyes back. Go to take a step, let your knees give out and your head bounce off the floor. Immediately initiate convulsions. To do this and look real use your stomach muscles as the main convulsion.
(Good thing I've been taking those Gravity classes- my abs are getting strong.)
Let your legs kick out and then fold back into the fetal position. Use your arms to swing at anyone who gets in your way and if you can fake tears- it always helps. The selling point is your face and its reactions. If you don't have the face. No one will buy it. My advice is to pretend like you just saw your great grandmother naked and she has stabbed you with one of your cats. Put your tongue in the back of your mouth, grit your teeth and grind. Spit as much as possible through your teeth breathing through your mouth. Keep this up for a solid twenty seconds or so and then with a final swing stop in the fetal position face down.

4. The Finale-In the end you will have a lot of horrified people. They will either have ran out of the room screaming or they will be trying to help you.

WOW! I mean I was just thinking about chewing up some alka seltzer and falling down.

Seriously!?!

Trying to Christmas shop in Montgomery has really opened my eyes that

I went from this........

To This!

Needless to say I have now finished and it was all done online.

We're getting ready for Christmas!

Curiosity of the Day!

Ok- we all know how out of the blue I can be and I can't tell you how many times a day I google the most random things ever- so I am going to start sharing them.

Today's most curious google of the day came about when I decided that I wanted to know if I was a left brain person or a right brain person......

I can't even tell ya'll how excited I was when I found a quiz- so I'm going to share it.

You are supposed to write down the numbers of the statements that sound like you. At the end there is a key telling you which statements are left brained and which are right brained. You add them up and whichever one you have more of -wins.

Of course this is me we are talking about, so it was no surprise at all when I of course had 9 right brains and 9 left brains. I can never get a black or white answer.

Quiz

1. I constantly look at a clock or wear a watch

2. I keep a journal or diary of my thoughts

3. I believe there is either a right or wrong way to do everything

4. I find it hard to follow directions precisely

5. The expression "Life is just a bowl of cherries" makes no sense to me

6. I frequently change my plans and find that sticking to a schedule is boring

7. I think it's easier to draw a map than tell someone how to get somewhere

8. To find a lost item, I try to picture it in my head where I saw it last

9. I frequently let my emotions guide me

10. I learn math with ease

11. I'd read the directions before assembling something

12. People tell me I am always late getting places

13. People have told me I'm psychic

14. I need to set goals for myself to keep me on track

15. When somebody asks me a question, I turn my head to the left

16. If I have a tough decision to make, I write down the pros and the cons

17. I'd probably make a good detective

18. I learn music with ease

19. To solve a problem, I think of similar problems I have solved in the past

20. I use a lot of gestures

21. If someone asks me a question, I turn my head to the right

22. I believe there are two ways to look at almost anything

23. I have the ability to tell if people are lying or guilty of something, just by looking at them

24. I keep a "to do" list

25. I am able to thoroughly explain my opinions in words

26. In a debate, I am objective and look at the facts before forming an opinion

27. I've considered becoming a poet, a politician, an architect, or a dancer

28. I always lose track of time

29. When trying to remember a name I forgot, I'd recite the alphabet until I remembered it

30. I like to draw

31. When I'm confused, I usually go with my gut instinct

32. I have considered becoming a lawyer, journalist, or doctor

Key

1. L

2. L

3. L

4. R

5. L

6. R

7.R

8. L

9.R

10.L

11. L

12.R

13.R

14.L

15. R

16. L

17. L

18. R

19. R

20. R

21. L

22.R

23. R

24. L

25. L

26. L

27. R

28. R

29. L

30. R

31. R

32. L

Just Another Manic Monday

Just for your entertainment, I will enlighten you on my early Monday morning.

Just so you understand the full picture, here is a little background information on my neighborhood. When I found out I might be moving to Montgomery I sent out feelers to several friends on where I should live. From the phone calls, emails, facebook updates and texts- I was told by all to live in the Old Cloverdale area of Montgomery. So, on a trip to Montgomery I had a very sweet old lady realtor take me (what I found out was the long way) to a very cute apartment. Don't get me wrong, I love my apartment! It is perfect for me and I am in Old Cloverdale - Garden District right? Well, the ghetto side. But, we all know I couldn't live anywhere where I wouldn't have craziness to be able to update you on.

As the realtor would say, I have a beautiful grassy fenced in backyard with my apartment. What I would say is that I have a side yard that I have to come out of my front door and outside to get into.

After pressing snooze for the third time this morning Miss Mia started barking which meant she needed to go outside pretty badly.

So, I rolled straight out of bed- eyes half shut out the front door and into the fenced in yard. Within seconds the wind blows and slams the gate hard leaving Sarah and Mia locked in the backyard.

Yes, for the second time since I have moved in, I am locked in the backyard.

For some really dumb reason there is not a handle on the inside gate of the fence and yes, calling the landlord is still on my to do list from last time.

So, what are my options here?

First- I kick the gate hard. As hard as I could- nothing.

Second I climb onto the gate and try to bend down and reach the lock- believe it or not my arms were not long enough.

Third- I go and find the perfect stick to help climb back onto the gate and try to open the fence.- Still nothing.

So, I look down at my outfit. I am wearing a tank top with no bra and gaucho pants.

Yes, gaucho pants the ones I actually wore in public 6 years ago (they make perfect pajama pants) they are black and covered and I mean covered in white Mia hair. They are honestly a little bit big and I have nothing on under them

and lets not forget that I have on ski socks and clogs

and last but not least I still have a mouth guard in my mouth.

So, I decide that climbing over the fence into the front of the house with the chance of leaving the pants on the fence was probably not the best idea and I walk to the back of the fence which will leave me to have to walk around the block to get to the front door.

I climb onto the fence and leap for it.

Somehow I made it.

No bruises, no scrapes and I still have all of my clothes on.

Kind of proud of myself, I walk from behind my house and the neighbors to the side street.

Just in time to be able to walk side by side with the man down the street who likes to push wheelchairs.

Yes, he is old and skinny and pushes wheelchairs.

So, I say, "Good Morning!" with my lisp from the mouth guard and he looks at me like I'm crazy. He is the one pushing the wheelchair, but apparently I'm the crazy one.

So, we walk the rest of the way in silence side -by- side down the sidewalk around the corner and back to my front door.

He keeps going and I open the stupid -stupid gate, grab Mia and go inside to get ready for work.

No. We didn't!

We did not have an awesome Thanksgiving. Nope.

We did not play our family tradition game of Balderdash- laughing hysterically the entire time.
We did not eat entirely too much amazing food.
We did not laugh, drink and reminisce.
We did not proceed to fill in our parents on all the inside jokes they didn't understand.
Or did we?

Did we tell them that one of us (out of the 27, 26, and three 22 year olds).........

Drove drunk at 15 while they were in the passenger seat?
Barricaded themselves in a house surrounded by cops?
Got drunk for the first time at 12?
Knew where the key to the wine cellar was the entire time?
Drank half the vodka and would refill the bottles with water- way more than once?
Would steal the cars at 15 after they went to bed?
Admit to the wild parties?
Knew how to unplug the alarm system so the door wouldn't beep when we snuck out?
Knew how to make our own fake id's?
Ran through the woods from cops after parties- more than once?
Caused a 6 car pile up?

I think we did.

Secrets

" I see you as a mystery wrapped up in a puzzle wrapped up in an enigma"

Hmmmm..... never knew I was perceived this way, but honestly not surprised. We are all different and unique in our own simple ways. Do I have idiosyncrasies? Thousands. Am I willing to share them- some of them.

I am always looking for new ways, thoughts, words and actions to express and find myself. Here is my latest- I have always had the hobby of "taking pictures" which I have always wanted to evolve into photography. Well this past weekend I took my first step and bought the camera I have been wanting forever- with photography classes soon to follow. Here are some of my first pictures- unfinished.

Charles Asta Haywire 11-02-95 to 11-13-09

Better known to all of us as just Charlie. Charlie was a terror instead of a terrior, but will be very missed.

Charlie came on Christmas with his brother Max-two tiny wired hair fox terriers and filled our childhood with countless awesome memories.

The Beauty:
Charlie was of course the picture perfect wire haired fox terrier; he was gorgeous and he knew it, poor Max had gotten the short end of the stick when it came to beauty. Daniel and I took Charlie and Max out on a walk and they were so tiny they couldn't get over the curb without our help. On one of our walks, a couple actually stopped us and asked us where we lived because Charlie was so beautiful they wanted to mate their dog, Marcie with him. He was still so young we had to wait forever, but it wasn't long before Charlie was going to be a father before he was even 1.

The Killer:
While Charlie and Max were puppies we even had an awesome rabbit named Thumper. He thought he was a dog and lived in the igloo outside with Charlie and Max. Eventually Charlie and Max let the nature of their breed take over, so we gave Thumper to the neighbor across the street. Poor Thumper would always sneak out of his fence and always come back to see Charlie and Max- and eventually their nature won. Poor Thumper. I think it was a couple of years before we found out the truth.

Anatomy:
Charlie and Marcie were everywhere- you would open the bathroom door and there they were walk in the kitchen, den bedroom anywhere and there they were. One night all 7 of us were sitting in front of the TV watching a movie and Charlie and Marcie stopped right in front of the TV (this is back when TVs were on the floor) and they got kicked outside, but don't worry somewhere there is a tape recorder and a notebook where Daniel and I documented most of the action from the tree house. Needless to say we all learned anatomy very young.

Lucy:
Charlie and Max would constantly fight to the point of blood and it was so common we barely even noticed, but eventually Max went to live with Daniel and Lauren's dad and Lucy the pick of the litter, Charlie's daughter,came home to us. When Lucy first came home Charlie would literally carry her around with him in his mouth and spit her out at your feet. We still aren't sure if he was trying to eat her or not.

Escape Artists:
Charlie and Lucy loved to escape. If the door was open for two seconds they were gone- instantly. They would even run through the electric fence taking the shock just to escape. I think there was one year Charlie had about 4 or 5 rabies shots because the pound would always give him another one when we picked him up. One year we were at the beach for a week when the vet called to tell us he had Lucy. Apparently she had walked all the way from our house to the mall (a miracle she wasn't hit) and had walked inside through one of the restaurants and running from the security guards she ended up in the Gap. The sweet girl at the Gap called the vet from her rabies tag.
During one of their usual escapes dad actually found Charlie a couple of streets over on top of some body's car! We still aren't sure how he managed that one.

Opossums:
Charlie was good at rounding up opossums. One time he cornered and killed a mother- which allowed the baby to move inside. I will never forget the time Ashley and I came downstairs on a Friday the 13th- just like today to dad telling us there was a opossum under one of the twin's bed. I will never forget the look on her face(although I can't remember which one) to the site of all of us in her room staring at her bed with weapons in our hands. Eventually the opossum was caught and was given a new home out in the country.

Tar Babies:
Even Charlie was part of the action when I looked outside and saw Lauren, Laura and Emily covered in tar in the backyard. Dad had stripped them naked and was pouring gasoline all over them. Of course they had found the tar in the ditch and of course Charlie had found it in the backyard while they were getting cleaned. Don't worry, there will be a ditch blog memories to come.

There are so many others, like the huge scars on my knees when I decided it was a good idea to let Charlie pull me on the skateboard, Charlie collecting more Easter eggs than us or eating crabs on walks down the beach.

Best "worst dog" ever!!

Stepping outside of the box!

Happiness is so hard to put your finger on. What makes one happy? Is it setting and meeting goals? Or life going exactly as planned?

I have had this debate with myself at several different points in my life and have been a listening ear for several friends who seem to be going through these same experiences.

I will be happy as soon as I get married.
I'm not happy because I got married so young.
I will be happy as soon as I get a new job or change careers.
As soon as I start making more money- then I will be happy.
I'm not happy because I didn't take any time for myself before I started working.
I will be happy as soon as I get out of this city.
Once I finish school I will be happy.
As soon as we have kids- then we will be happy.

I want to believe that this is some sort of a quarter life crisis and each of us depending on which stage will meet our goals and be- happy! However, I know that meeting these goals may make us happy for a week or maybe a month, but we will ultimately make a new reason why we aren't. If you break it down, we have been doing this our wholes lives and will continue.

I will be happy as soon as its summer and I'm out of school... as soon as it's my birthday... when I start high school... turn 16.... get a boyfriend/girlfriend...start college..graduate.... start making my own money.....move up in this company.....get married.....have children.....as soon as my kids are potty trained....as soon as they start school....they graduate.....they get married.....I have grand kids.

We were programmed this way. Society teaches us to never settle and be content. Those that settle are lazy and those that constantly want more for themselves by creating new and bigger goals/obstacles are successful.

As soon as I stepped out of the box and looked in I realized that there isn't a destination that is going to make my life complete or create my happiness- And in the process of trying to get there- I am wishing my life away! I can continue to want and strive for more, but I am going to start enjoying the ride because this is it. This is my life and I am going to enjoy it!

So, I'm trying.....
To stay positive! To take myself less serious. To laugh more. To regret less. To truly know myself even as I constantly change. To stop planning so much and start living more (happily)!

Thank Goodness for Super Heros!

After being cornered in my office for what seemed like eternity by "the talker"... a rescue phone call came.

And then the emails....

"Didn't I tell you she would go nuts about moving stuff around? You would still be there at judgement day if I had not intervened. We have to look out for each other!"

"THANK YOU! I don't think I could have taken much more."

"I remember being in an art store and this crazy man was talking to this woman for thirty minutes. After he left I looked at her and I said," I didn't think you'd ever escape alive!" and she said THEN WHY IN THE HELL DIDN'T YOU HELP ME?" I think I became a superhero at that moment- I devoted my life to rescuing people from other people who talk to much."

Do you have a secret battle?

I do!
Do I want to be the society girl whose kids go to the prestigious private school while I am a member of the country club and junior league or do I want to be the free spirit who goes all natural, re-pierces her nose and gets the white ink tattoo on my wrist I've always wanted? Why does it have to be impossible to have both?

Do we think the thieves know all my inner thoughts?

I have always kept a list of my dreams, goals, favorite quotes, fears, idiosyncrasies in a journal that I would constantly update. Sadly, the 7 year old journal was in the bag that was stolen out of my car not long ago. I am slowly working on the re-creation- some of it maybe on this blog!

New Appreciation

I have to admit that I can already feel the slower pace of life taking over and it's not all bad. I love taking Mia out at night and staring at the stars. I have even been driving down the highways of Alabama lately and there is a calming affect that only locals can appreciate. I've even found myself turning up the country music and singing to the top of my lungs as I pass the old local cemeteries and car dealerships that only sell trucks. The rows of baby pine trees just starting to grow right next to one of the hundreds of water towers you'll pass. The trailer parks with kids playing out in the yard that is all dirt and no grass. The old man picking up pecans in the front yard of his brick ranch in the middle of nowhere. The old homes with couches on the front porch occupied by people who wave as you drive pass and of course the countless cow pastures. I have even had to use the brights on my car for maybe the first time since I've owned it.
But, don't get me wrong I miss the hustle and bustle of the city also!