No. We didn't!

We did not have an awesome Thanksgiving. Nope.

We did not play our family tradition game of Balderdash- laughing hysterically the entire time.
We did not eat entirely too much amazing food.
We did not laugh, drink and reminisce.
We did not proceed to fill in our parents on all the inside jokes they didn't understand.
Or did we?

Did we tell them that one of us (out of the 27, 26, and three 22 year olds).........

Drove drunk at 15 while they were in the passenger seat?
Barricaded themselves in a house surrounded by cops?
Got drunk for the first time at 12?
Knew where the key to the wine cellar was the entire time?
Drank half the vodka and would refill the bottles with water- way more than once?
Would steal the cars at 15 after they went to bed?
Admit to the wild parties?
Knew how to unplug the alarm system so the door wouldn't beep when we snuck out?
Knew how to make our own fake id's?
Ran through the woods from cops after parties- more than once?
Caused a 6 car pile up?

I think we did.

Secrets

" I see you as a mystery wrapped up in a puzzle wrapped up in an enigma"

Hmmmm..... never knew I was perceived this way, but honestly not surprised. We are all different and unique in our own simple ways. Do I have idiosyncrasies? Thousands. Am I willing to share them- some of them.

I am always looking for new ways, thoughts, words and actions to express and find myself. Here is my latest- I have always had the hobby of "taking pictures" which I have always wanted to evolve into photography. Well this past weekend I took my first step and bought the camera I have been wanting forever- with photography classes soon to follow. Here are some of my first pictures- unfinished.

Charles Asta Haywire 11-02-95 to 11-13-09

Better known to all of us as just Charlie. Charlie was a terror instead of a terrior, but will be very missed.

Charlie came on Christmas with his brother Max-two tiny wired hair fox terriers and filled our childhood with countless awesome memories.

The Beauty:
Charlie was of course the picture perfect wire haired fox terrier; he was gorgeous and he knew it, poor Max had gotten the short end of the stick when it came to beauty. Daniel and I took Charlie and Max out on a walk and they were so tiny they couldn't get over the curb without our help. On one of our walks, a couple actually stopped us and asked us where we lived because Charlie was so beautiful they wanted to mate their dog, Marcie with him. He was still so young we had to wait forever, but it wasn't long before Charlie was going to be a father before he was even 1.

The Killer:
While Charlie and Max were puppies we even had an awesome rabbit named Thumper. He thought he was a dog and lived in the igloo outside with Charlie and Max. Eventually Charlie and Max let the nature of their breed take over, so we gave Thumper to the neighbor across the street. Poor Thumper would always sneak out of his fence and always come back to see Charlie and Max- and eventually their nature won. Poor Thumper. I think it was a couple of years before we found out the truth.

Anatomy:
Charlie and Marcie were everywhere- you would open the bathroom door and there they were walk in the kitchen, den bedroom anywhere and there they were. One night all 7 of us were sitting in front of the TV watching a movie and Charlie and Marcie stopped right in front of the TV (this is back when TVs were on the floor) and they got kicked outside, but don't worry somewhere there is a tape recorder and a notebook where Daniel and I documented most of the action from the tree house. Needless to say we all learned anatomy very young.

Lucy:
Charlie and Max would constantly fight to the point of blood and it was so common we barely even noticed, but eventually Max went to live with Daniel and Lauren's dad and Lucy the pick of the litter, Charlie's daughter,came home to us. When Lucy first came home Charlie would literally carry her around with him in his mouth and spit her out at your feet. We still aren't sure if he was trying to eat her or not.

Escape Artists:
Charlie and Lucy loved to escape. If the door was open for two seconds they were gone- instantly. They would even run through the electric fence taking the shock just to escape. I think there was one year Charlie had about 4 or 5 rabies shots because the pound would always give him another one when we picked him up. One year we were at the beach for a week when the vet called to tell us he had Lucy. Apparently she had walked all the way from our house to the mall (a miracle she wasn't hit) and had walked inside through one of the restaurants and running from the security guards she ended up in the Gap. The sweet girl at the Gap called the vet from her rabies tag.
During one of their usual escapes dad actually found Charlie a couple of streets over on top of some body's car! We still aren't sure how he managed that one.

Opossums:
Charlie was good at rounding up opossums. One time he cornered and killed a mother- which allowed the baby to move inside. I will never forget the time Ashley and I came downstairs on a Friday the 13th- just like today to dad telling us there was a opossum under one of the twin's bed. I will never forget the look on her face(although I can't remember which one) to the site of all of us in her room staring at her bed with weapons in our hands. Eventually the opossum was caught and was given a new home out in the country.

Tar Babies:
Even Charlie was part of the action when I looked outside and saw Lauren, Laura and Emily covered in tar in the backyard. Dad had stripped them naked and was pouring gasoline all over them. Of course they had found the tar in the ditch and of course Charlie had found it in the backyard while they were getting cleaned. Don't worry, there will be a ditch blog memories to come.

There are so many others, like the huge scars on my knees when I decided it was a good idea to let Charlie pull me on the skateboard, Charlie collecting more Easter eggs than us or eating crabs on walks down the beach.

Best "worst dog" ever!!

Stepping outside of the box!

Happiness is so hard to put your finger on. What makes one happy? Is it setting and meeting goals? Or life going exactly as planned?

I have had this debate with myself at several different points in my life and have been a listening ear for several friends who seem to be going through these same experiences.

I will be happy as soon as I get married.
I'm not happy because I got married so young.
I will be happy as soon as I get a new job or change careers.
As soon as I start making more money- then I will be happy.
I'm not happy because I didn't take any time for myself before I started working.
I will be happy as soon as I get out of this city.
Once I finish school I will be happy.
As soon as we have kids- then we will be happy.

I want to believe that this is some sort of a quarter life crisis and each of us depending on which stage will meet our goals and be- happy! However, I know that meeting these goals may make us happy for a week or maybe a month, but we will ultimately make a new reason why we aren't. If you break it down, we have been doing this our wholes lives and will continue.

I will be happy as soon as its summer and I'm out of school... as soon as it's my birthday... when I start high school... turn 16.... get a boyfriend/girlfriend...start college..graduate.... start making my own money.....move up in this company.....get married.....have children.....as soon as my kids are potty trained....as soon as they start school....they graduate.....they get married.....I have grand kids.

We were programmed this way. Society teaches us to never settle and be content. Those that settle are lazy and those that constantly want more for themselves by creating new and bigger goals/obstacles are successful.

As soon as I stepped out of the box and looked in I realized that there isn't a destination that is going to make my life complete or create my happiness- And in the process of trying to get there- I am wishing my life away! I can continue to want and strive for more, but I am going to start enjoying the ride because this is it. This is my life and I am going to enjoy it!

So, I'm trying.....
To stay positive! To take myself less serious. To laugh more. To regret less. To truly know myself even as I constantly change. To stop planning so much and start living more (happily)!

Thank Goodness for Super Heros!

After being cornered in my office for what seemed like eternity by "the talker"... a rescue phone call came.

And then the emails....

"Didn't I tell you she would go nuts about moving stuff around? You would still be there at judgement day if I had not intervened. We have to look out for each other!"

"THANK YOU! I don't think I could have taken much more."

"I remember being in an art store and this crazy man was talking to this woman for thirty minutes. After he left I looked at her and I said," I didn't think you'd ever escape alive!" and she said THEN WHY IN THE HELL DIDN'T YOU HELP ME?" I think I became a superhero at that moment- I devoted my life to rescuing people from other people who talk to much."

Do you have a secret battle?

I do!
Do I want to be the society girl whose kids go to the prestigious private school while I am a member of the country club and junior league or do I want to be the free spirit who goes all natural, re-pierces her nose and gets the white ink tattoo on my wrist I've always wanted? Why does it have to be impossible to have both?

Do we think the thieves know all my inner thoughts?

I have always kept a list of my dreams, goals, favorite quotes, fears, idiosyncrasies in a journal that I would constantly update. Sadly, the 7 year old journal was in the bag that was stolen out of my car not long ago. I am slowly working on the re-creation- some of it maybe on this blog!

New Appreciation

I have to admit that I can already feel the slower pace of life taking over and it's not all bad. I love taking Mia out at night and staring at the stars. I have even been driving down the highways of Alabama lately and there is a calming affect that only locals can appreciate. I've even found myself turning up the country music and singing to the top of my lungs as I pass the old local cemeteries and car dealerships that only sell trucks. The rows of baby pine trees just starting to grow right next to one of the hundreds of water towers you'll pass. The trailer parks with kids playing out in the yard that is all dirt and no grass. The old man picking up pecans in the front yard of his brick ranch in the middle of nowhere. The old homes with couches on the front porch occupied by people who wave as you drive pass and of course the countless cow pastures. I have even had to use the brights on my car for maybe the first time since I've owned it.
But, don't get me wrong I miss the hustle and bustle of the city also!